Excellent writers use active voice in all types of writing because it cuts down on wordiness, enlivens the writing by avoiding a stuffy tone, and creates more energy. In genealogical writing, an active voice is hard to achieve since we, as genealogists, often write in the third person point of view, and we usually write about the past. These two norms make it easy to slip into a passive voice. In genealogical writing, passive voice is sometimes unavoidable. Here are some ideas to help you write in an active voice as much as possible.
Step #1
What is Active Voice vs. Passive Voice? Quickly recognizing passive voice allows you to switch to active voice. When writing in an active voice, the subject should perform the action upon the object. Active voice uses a Subject–Verb–Object structure.
Passive voice switches the object with the subject, using an Object–Verb–Subject structure. This distances the action from the subject, making the action passive. Passive action is vague and makes it difficult to tell precisely who or what is performing the action.
Step #2
Ask yourself, “Who or what performs the action in the sentence?” Then begin the sentence with the subject performing the action. If possible, use a person as the subject performing the acting instead of a source or a document.
Passive voice often leaves the subject out of the picture entirely. Include the subject if enough information is available. For example:
The practice example at the end of this post show instances where I added subjects such as “the jury,” “officials,” and “authorities.”
Naming a person as the subject isn’t always practical in genealogical writing, so use a document or a source as the subject of the sentence as needed.
If you don’t know or can’t tell who performed the actions, then use passive voice. Using passive voice when needed is perfectly acceptable in genealogical writing. Additionally, most researchers write genealogical research reports for clients in the third-person point of view. When we performed the research, passive voice allows us to stay in the third person.
This first-person example states exactly who didn’t find the documents.
“I did not find any documents that identify the first wife of James Smith.”
To keep a sentence in third person, the researcher can report:
“No documents were found to identify the first wife of James Smith.”
With some creativity, the passage can even be put into an active voice.
“No acquired documents identify the first wife of James Smith.”
Step #3
Next, add an active verb to the sentence. When possible, use an “action verb” instead of a “state-of-being” verb (am, is, are, was, will be, etc.). One way to spot a passive verb is to watch for two of the most common state-of-being verbs, “is” and “was,” sometimes joined with an action verb. When you find a state-of-being verb, replace it with an action verb. For example, use “lists” instead of “is listed” or use “states” instead of “was stated.”
Instead of:
Try switching the subject to the beginning of the sentence and making the verb active:
Notice how using an action verb forces you to begin the sentence or phrase with the subject instead of the object, automatically creating active voice. On the flip side, starting the sentence with the object being acted upon forms a passive verb.
Step #4
Lastly, include the object being acted upon after the action verb.
Tools:
Discover passive voice with the Passive Voice Detector. Aim to keep passive voice to 15% or less.
Grammarly is a great way to detect passive voice. The paid version flags passive voice for you. (https://www.grammarly.com/).
Let’s Practice!
See the resource list to learn more about writing in an active voice. Six years ago, I subscribed to the free version of Grammarly to improve my writing. Upgrading to Grammarly Premium was one of the best investments I made to overcome passive voice woes. Grammarly boosted my writing skills across the board.
Below, I posted a passage from a narrative I wrote about my great-grandfather, Walter Wallin’s tragic death. I wrote this passage before I fully understood how to avoid passive voice. I counted at least twelve instances of passive voice. See if you can spot them too.
Tragedy at Crab Orchard (passive voice retained)
Walter Wallin was killed in a tragic shooting on 23 December 1911 in neighboring Crab Orchard, Lincoln, Kentucky. A family feud over a trivial incident, alcohol, and egos led to a “shooting affray” at a “soft drink stand.” During the incident, Walter was shot by Elijah “Lige” Hoskins, a deputy marshal of Crab Orchard, Kentucky. Walter’s cause of death was stated on his death certificate as “gunshot wound murdered.” Accounts differ as to who drew first, Walter or Lige. Walter’s oldest brother, William Dudley “Dud” Wallin, was shot in the leg and survived. Dud’s son Ernest was also grazed by a bullet and beaten on the head during the brawl. Walter’s brother, Jacob Manfred “Jake” Wallin, arrived on the scene moments after the shooting and witnessed his nephew, Ernest Wallin, being pistol-whipped by Lige Hoskins. Deputy Hoskins was shot by Jake and died the next day.
Jake, Dud, and Ernest were arrested for the murder of Lige Hoskins. Jake’s trial was held in April 1912. He was acquitted on the grounds that he was acting in defense of his nephew. All charges were subsequently dropped against Dud and Ernest. This incident brought tragic consequences to both families involved.
Read the revised passage below for improvement ideas.
Tragedy at Crab Orchard (edited for active voice)
Walter Wallin died in a tragic shooting incident on 23 December 1911 in neighboring Crab Orchard, Lincoln, Kentucky. A family feud over a trivial incident, alcohol, and egos led to a “shooting affray” at a “soft drink stand.” During the incident, Elijah “Lige” Hoskins, a Crab Orchard Deputy Marshal, shot Walter. Walter’s death certificate states his cause of death as “gunshot wound murdered.” Accounts differ as to who drew first, Walter or Lige. Walter’s oldest brother, William Dudley “Dud” Wallin, received a bullet in his leg and survived. A bullet also grazed Dud’s son, Ernest, in the head. Deputy Hoskins also pistol-whipped Ernest during the brawl. Walter’s brother, Jacob Manfred “Jake” Wallin, arrived on the scene moments after the shooting to witness the pistol-whipping. As a result, Jake shot Deputy Hoskins, who died the next day.
Officials arrested Jake, Dud, and Ernest for the murder of Deputy Hoskins. The court held Jake’s trial in April 1912. The jury acquitted Jake on the grounds that he acted to defend his nephew. Authorities subsequently dropped all charges against Dud and Ernest. This incident brought tragic consequences to both families involved.
Now, isn’t that easier to read?
Note:
I’ve removed footnote superscripts from the passages but included the reference note citations here.
“Kentucky, Death Records, 1852-1965,” State File # 32013-48, entry for Walter Wallin, 23 December 1911 in Crab Orchard, Lincoln, Kentucky; database with images of death certificates, Ancestry (http://ancestry.com : accessed 3 May 2020); citing microfilm at Kentucky Department for Libraries and Archives, Frankfort, Kentucky.
“Dreadful Killings at Crab Orchard: Deputy Town Marshal Lige Hoskins Kills Walter Wallin and Is Himself Shot by Jake Wallin,” The Interior Journal (Stanford, Kentucky), 29 December 1911, page 1, column 1; digital images, Chronicling America (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov : accessed 3 May 2020).
“Jake Wallin Declared Not Guilty By Jury: Sensational Trial Comes to End With Verdict Approved by Those who Heard Evidence,” The Interior Journal (Stanford, Kentucky), 5 April 1912, page 1, column 1, also page 4, column 3; digital images, Chronicling America (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov : accessed 3 May 2020).
Read my Genealogy Source Citations Simplified blog posts to learn more about creating citations without stress and frustration.
I hope this blog post helps liven up your genealogical writing with an active voice!
Here’s to excellent writing!
Lisa Stokes, AG®
Resource List:
Passive Voice Detector. Online writing tool. https://datayze.com/passive-voice-detector.
Grammarly: Free Writing AI Assitance. Free or paid subscription. (https://www.grammarly.com/), 2023.
Kramer, Lindsay. “Active vs. Passive Voice.” Blog post. Grammarly. https://www.grammarly.com/blog/active-vs-passive-voice/, 2023
Strauss, Jane. “Active and Passive Voice.” Website article. GrammarBook.com. https://www.grammarbook.com/blog/effective-writing/passive-voice-vs-active-voice/, 2023.
Wylie, Ann. “How to fix passive voice.” Blog post. Wylie Communications (https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/06/how-to-fix-passive-voice/), 2023.
Yoast SEO for Everyone.” Passive voice: how to avoid it, when to use it.” Blog post. https://yoast.com/academy/seo-copywriting-training/passive-voice/, 2019.